What happens when therapists don’t know how to talk about race in therapy?
“There are no taboo topics in therapy”…or least there shouldn’t be…right?
While therapists are well-trained to talk about things many of us are not socialized to discuss (ahem, emotions), some topics are commonly avoided. I remember talking about what’s NOT talked about in my training to become a psychologist, especially things like money or sex…you know, some pretty central topics in people’s lives.
But the topic we avoided most (at least in my mind) was race.
For a full year in a consultation group, I remember talking about a client one of my white colleagues was working with. They seemed to have a strong relationship while doing difficult trauma work together. It wasn’t until the end of the year that I learned the client was not white. I wondered what their discussions were like around race and identity or what their racial dynamics were like throughout their work together. It felt like so much was untold…or unspoken.
White therapists and mental health providers have shared with me their anxiety and hesitation around bringing up race in therapy and supervision. On one hand, it doesn’t come as a surprise to me having been socialized in elite training spaces where it was clear that politeness should be prioritized over justice. This prioritization of “politeness” is just another subversive way white supremacy works in elite institutions, especially when we ask who we offer politeness to? (Generally those with the most power.)
On the other hand, research AND experience continues to tell us that people of Color have worse care in mental health when compared to their white counterparts. When examining reasons why, researchers find that the quality of the therapeutic relationship (one of the most important parts of therapy being effective) are often lacking.
The issue of white therapists and supervisors avoiding race in therapy is not only relevant when you are providing services to people of Color. White clients bring up race all the time, for lots of different reasons. Yet, it is common for therapists to avoid digging deeper into their client’s thoughts, feelings & behavior on race.
Outside of race, typically therapists reflect on reasons they feel uncomfortable discussing a certain topic in therapy (this is often called our countertransference). We are trained to seek consultation and to figure out what’s going on with us that certain topics feel scary to delve into. But like often with race, there are many protective narratives we can rely on to help us avoid talking about race and justify not doing so.
Over the years of training and working in this field, I’ve gotten to witness change in white therapists wanting to be able to talk about race in therapy and supervision. Most therapists I talk to want to do better, want to provide better support, and want to confront all those rules silently taught to them about the importance of avoiding discussions on race because they know how high the costs are.
Being able to talk about race in therapy and supervision takes practice, it takes reflection, and it takes tolerating a lot of anxiety (and all the difficult feelings underneath).
Therapists know well that just because you feel anxious doesn’t mean you’re going in the wrong direction, but avoiding race is often justified. I fear that because of lack of practice and modeling many white therapists don’t get the experience and training they need with the right people. Who are the “right people”? It depends, but for the most part they are people willing to support your racial identity development who ideally are more advanced in their own development. This MAY include people of Color willing to support you. But it may not – assuming people of Color want to support you in your development can cause harm and damage to your relationship.
If you are a therapist who wants to more skillfully discuss race and racial dynamics in therapy, this book is a good starting point. If you are interested in getting consultation and support, feel free to reach out to me directly.