As working mothers, we navigate a complex web of responsibilities, emotions, and societal expectations. Our roles are demanding, requiring us to balance parenting, work, and personal well-being. Amidst this juggling act, it’s easy to overlook how negative body image and anxiety around weight, exercise, and appearance can seep into our lives, impacting not just our self-esteem, but our ability to be present as parents and engage in our work in meaningful and fulfilling ways.
The Subtle Erosion of Self-Worth
Negative body image starts when we are very young. Unfortunately, we are surrounded by so many messages about what is good, better, best when it comes to how we look. And then we get the strange social reinforcement (or punishment) if we’ve lost weight after the stomach flu or have gained weight due to stress. Our value and self-confidence becomes so tied with how we think others think we look. This erosion of self-worth can manifest in various ways:
- Self-Criticism: We might find ourselves constantly criticizing our appearance, focusing on perceived flaws rather than celebrating our strengths.
- Comparison: Social media and societal standards can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy as we compare ourselves to seemingly perfect images of other mothers and professionals.
- Narrowed focus on Weight and Exercise: What begins as a desire to be healthy can turn into an unhealthy obsession, where our worth is tied to a number on the scale or the intensity of our workouts.
How This Affects Motherhood
As mothers, our self-image directly impacts how we engage with our children, and actually, how we become mothers in the first place (if we are carrying our children). So many women I work are crystal clear that they don’t want their children viewing their bodies the same way they do, but it almost feels impossible to change their relationship with their body. Here are some signs that negative body image and anxiety might be affecting your parenting:
- Confusion around role Modeling: Children are perceptive and learn by observing us. If they see us engaging in negative self-talk or fear of gaining weight, we fear they might internalize these attitudes towards their own bodies (& often they do).
- Emotional Availability: Anxiety and preoccupation with appearance can drain our emotional energy, making it harder to be fully present and responsive to our children’s needs.
- Stress and Patience: When we’re battling inner turmoil, our stress levels rise, often resulting in reduced patience and increased irritability, which can affect our interactions with our kids.
The Professional Impact
As strange as it can sound within the professional sphere, the consequences of negative body image and anxiety can be just as profound. We as women know how unimportant our looks are to some of the most critical tasks and values we offer at work, and yet how we look can still feel top of mind in our role. How might body image issues show up in our work?
- Confidence: Negative body image can erode our self-confidence, making us hesitant to speak up, take on new challenges, or advocate for ourselves in the workplace.
- Focus and Productivity: Preoccupation with weight and appearance can distract us from our work, reducing our productivity and effectiveness. But more importantly, it can erode our creativity and enjoyment of our work.
- Networking and Opportunities: Anxiety around appearance can make social interactions and networking events stressful, potentially limiting our risk-taking in career opportunities and growth.
Recognizing the Signs
It’s really helpful (and painful) to recognize when body image issues are taking a toll on your life. Here are some signs to look out for:
- Preoccupation with Appearance: If you find yourself constantly thinking about your weight, diet, or exercise to the detriment of other areas of your life, it’s so distracting and hard to live your life according to what matters to you deep down.
- Avoidance: Avoiding social situations, work events, or even family gatherings because of anxiety around your appearance.
- Mood Swings: Fluctuations in mood, particularly feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness related to body image.
Steps Towards Healing
The good news is that it’s possible to break free from these negative patterns. Here are some steps to consider:
- Seek Professional Help: A therapist or counselor can help you explore the roots of your body image issues, develop coping strategies and connect with your deeper values.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Cultivate a compassionate inner voice. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend.
- Focus on Behaviors that Help You Feel Good, Not Appearance: Shift your focus from appearance to behaviors that promote your well-being and self-compassion. Engage in activities that make you feel good, both physically and mentally.
- Surround Yourself with More Positivity: Build a support network of friends and family who uplift and encourage you. Limit exposure to media that perpetuates unrealistic beauty standards.
Final Thoughts
As mothers and professionals, it can really help to feel valued, and empowered in our roles. By addressing negative body image and anxiety, we can reclaim our self-worth and fully engage in our lives with joy and authenticity. Your worth is not defined by your appearance. You are so much more than that, and your children and career will benefit immensely from a healthier, happier you.