I find theories and models on race are essential for addressing racism. Race and racism has been constructed in one of the most complex, adaptive, and powerful tools of oppression. I struggle to understand racial interpersonal and system dynamics without a theoretical model to capture as much of the slippery, evasive, decontextualized weapons of racial injustice. In other words, the structure of theoretical models help organize, understand and target possible interventions to address racism, especially on an interpersonal level.
When we don’t use a theoretical model to address the deep problems of racism, we are left with superficial solutions. People often look for a simple list of Do’s and Don’ts to follow when it comes to race, or rather how not to appear racist. In relationships, especially in one-to-one interactions it’s hard (maybe impossible) to actually follow specific rules and authentically connect. If it is one thing we understand as humans, it’s how off-putting following a script can feel in interactions (sales conversations really come to mind here).
One reason sales conversations really feel sucky is that they are scripted and follow a set of rules. These rules are an effort to shape conversations so that sales people remain as in control as possible and motivate action. All of this causes us to feel disconnected from the actual person we are talking to. I think of times when I actually needed to buy something and the interpersonal exchange with the sales person was so annoying that I walked away to avoid continuing the conversation.
On an institutional level, it might be easier to look like we are addressing equity and inclusion by following a set of Do’s and Don’ts. But in interpersonal interactions, those attempts to appear committed to anti-racism fall short. Furthermore, if you try to follow Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to conversations you are probably trying to hide your own anxiety about talking about race. You might be resisting facing the deeper understanding of race and your racial identity.
So, how can you approach conversations on race in a more prepared & thoughtful way?
Here are some suggestions that can happen before you are in a conversation about race:
- Read & watch content that teaches about race and racism
- ADD to your reading on race and racism with written, audio or video journal (I know, video journaling sounds a bit mortifying, but it is actually a powerful reflection tool.)
- Note – how do you feel in your body? What do you notice about your thoughts?
- Try to have a few conversations about that specific content with another person in your life
- Seek specific racial education on the thing you would like a script for. (i.e., if you are a therapist and want to talk about race with your clients of Color – seek out articles and books that address this topic)
- Repeat the steps above
- Keep repeating these steps as you continue to approach racial issues that give you anxiety to discuss
As always, feel free to reach out to me for a consultation if you are interested in doing more focused work to increase your racial identity and racial responsiveness.