How 'Values Work' Helps Us When We're Overwhelmed
Have you ever felt lost in a sea of choices, overwhelmed by life's demands, and unsure which direction to take? You're not alone. While "values work" might sound like another vague self-help concept, I've witnessed its transformative power both as a therapist and in my clients' lives when they're navigating challenging times.
Beyond Just Words on a List
The term "values work" can initially feel abstract and nonspecific. Sure, someone can hand you a list of values, and you might think, "Yes, these all sound great... but so what?" However, values serve as much more than just inspiring words—they act as anchors during life's storms, especially when we're feeling lost, afraid, or overwhelmed.
What Makes Values Work Different?
Thankfully, values work isn't just about picking a few words off a menu of life's positive attributes. Through my extensive training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), specifically in using values in therapy, I've learned that discovering our true values requires a deeper exploration of our lives and choices.
How Do We Discover Our Values?
As a therapist, I'm constantly listening for patterns in my clients' stories—how they approach parenting, their work decisions, their relationships. These patterns often reveal what truly matters to them, beyond surface-level preferences. While I use specific worksheets and exercises, the real insights often emerge through these natural conversations.
Common values might include:
Creativity
Justice
Community commitment
Continuous learning
But here's the crucial difference: values work goes beyond just identifying these words. It helps us understand whether we're living in alignment with our values and reveals both the costs and incredible benefits of our choices.
Values as a Compass in Parenting
When working with parents, values work becomes particularly powerful. By accessing the values that matter most in parenting, we can often pinpoint exactly where and why someone feels they've lost their footing. This awareness becomes invaluable during overwhelming periods.
Why Align with Our Values?
Let's face it—life doesn't come with a rulebook of "right" decisions. Beyond moral considerations, understanding what matters most to you serves several crucial purposes:
Decision-Making Clarity: Values help filter choices through what truly matters to you
Energy Prioritization: They help you focus your limited resources on what's most important
Reduced Self-Doubt: Strong values provide confidence during overwhelming times
Authentic Living: They guide you toward choices that feel genuinely "right" for you
Values Work in Action
When clients come to me feeling overwhelmed, we often start by exploring their values through practical exercises:
Pattern Recognition: Looking at life decisions that felt clearly "right" or "wrong"
Legacy Reflection: Considering what they want to be remembered for
Joy Analysis: Examining moments of deep satisfaction and fulfillment
Conflict Exploration: Understanding what feels most challenging about difficult situations
Moving Forward with Values
Living in alignment with our values doesn't mean every decision becomes easy. However, it provides a framework for:
Making difficult choices during overwhelming times
Maintaining focus when life feels chaotic
Building confidence in personal decisions
Creating meaningful change in our lives
Practical Steps to Start Your Values Work
Observe Your Patterns: Notice where you naturally invest time and energy
Question Your Choices: Ask yourself why certain decisions feel right or wrong
Examine Your Struggles: Often, our biggest challenges point to our most important values
Consider Your Impact: Reflect on how you want to influence others' lives
Conclusion
Values work isn't just another self-help tool—it's a practical approach to navigating life's complexities. When we're overwhelmed with emotional challenges or drowning in details, our values can serve as a reliable compass, helping us find our way back to what truly matters.
Remember, the goal isn't perfection in living our values, but rather using them as guideposts to make more intentional choices, especially during overwhelming times. By understanding and aligning with our deepest values, we can move forward with greater confidence and clarity, even when the path ahead seems unclear.
